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September 4, 2009
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Two plastic looking women stand in a small clearing, a mountainous construct behind them, they look nervous. There was a rustle in a nearby bush, one of them became nervous, but soon subsided, ignoring the moving bush
“This is Fracture” the bush whispered into a branch “deep undercover in Fangurl territory, I am currently disguised as a piece of their habitat, along with my crew. Today we have intel telling us that they may be hunting a new victim to their twisted beliefs, and may enact the forbidden ritual of the glomp” the female reporter shuffled forward “lets take a closer look” now 3 bushes began to move closer to the 2 plastic women, still not completely aware of the news crew's presence

BOOM

The two women ran off in a gallop. Fracture popped out of her bush, revealing her slim white, red and black robotic mode “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!” she screamed. Behind her Zoom Out, her mostly grey camera man (by that I mean he's male and turns into a camera you see) popped out behind her.
“Not sure boss, sounded like it came from the mountain though” said the camera-bot “that was loud wasn't it?”
Behind him the sound man, Annie Soundwave was spinning around, hands to his ears “Affirmative” he said, still dazed, removing his headphones
“Fracture...you may want to see this” Zoom Out said, opening his built in view screen, a white a red avalanche seemed to be coming from the tip of the mountain.
“That's odd” Fracture whispered “There's no snow in Cookiedale, Zoom Out can you zoom in at bit on the tip”
“Sure lady” he zoomed in on the tip
“Is that someone moving up there?” she mumbled. The camera continued to zoom in
“YODELAI YODELAI YODELAI-EEEE-OOOOO” Came an echoing scream from the mountain
“Oh for the love of c- BLITZWING!!!!!!!” She screamed up the mountain
Near the top of the mountain still, Blitzwing began skiing down on a couple of large sticks he found earlier
“BUH BYE SCALPIE!” he called back after him. A small crab-like robot scuttled along after him
“MI BAKEWELLZ! YOU BLOWZ UP MI BAKEWELLZ! I HATEZ YOU! I TELLZ ON YOU! I WILL TELLZ ON YOU TO MIZTREL!!!!” the small robot scuttled off, towards a phone, in order to report this incident, to the blissful ignorance of Blitzwing, who was now skiing down the mountain, on another one of his big stunts.
Despite it being a mountain, it wasn't actually that big, and only took a few seconds to get to the bottom, he was laughing hysterically as he skidded to a stop at the base
“I hope your happy superstar” came a female voice above him, he opened his eyes and saw the local newscaster Fracture “Blitzwing, you ruined a report I've been working on for weeks, what do you have to say?” she crossed her arms
“Um...whoopsie?” he shrugged
“ARGH!!” she flung her arms in the air “ What is the matter with you, don't you think about anyone else besides yourself and your little comic series?”
“It's my job!” he said, breaking out in another laughter fit
“Blitzwing” came a more serious voice from the direction of the town
Blitzwing looked around, and saw Prowl, a black and gold robot, who happened to work for the comic studio too
“Mistrel wants to see you in his office, come on” Prowl said, leading him into the town
Fracture, left without someone to moan at, decides to leave too “Come on guys, lets pack up and see what the boss has to say about this” She, Zoom Out and Annie Soundwave walk off in the same direction as Blitzwing and Prowl.

Prowl and Blitzwing walked through the streets, lined with cardboard cut-outs, faux buildings, boxes and shelves, inhabited by toys of varying sizes, franchises and factions. They arrived at the largest construct, a large entertainment unit with a television at the top
“You know where to go Blitz” Prowl said, as he saw someone else he needed to talk to
“Yeah...I'll go see the big boss guy” she said, with a big smile. He ran in, passed the receptionist, Retrax and into the elevator. He pushed the the top button, and was shot upwards. The doors opened, and he was in a corridor, he looked left and saw an open window, he looked out, and could see the whole of Cookiedale, it was actually a human's bedroom, but it was also a home for all the toys who lived there. He smiled, he loved his home, it was much better than what came before, the plastic prisons where they were all born from. He shuddered slightly, and entered the office.

The office was made of cardboard, but it was still quite advanced, the owner, Aesir, had spent some time to make façades and set ups so his comic looked better, this was one of the best though, behind the desk was a tall, white Autobot, whom Blitzwing recognized instantly
“Blitzwing, take a seat” he said
“Rightio!” Blitzwing said, sitting down
“Blitz, do you know why I've asked you to come here today?” Mistrel asked
“Um...you want to give me a raise?” asked the happy toy
“No...I've received more complaints about you today, and ten of those came in a span of 5 minutes”
Blitzwing looked confused “Complaints about what?” he asked
Mistrel took out a pad of paper “8 accounts of noise pollution, 1 account of ruining a high risk news report, 1 account of-” Mistrel took a minute to read it “-well the next one has a lot of fragmented English, but I think it says you 'blew up his Bakewells' or something”
“But that's funny! Scalpel loves his Bakewells,a nd it made people laugh!” Blitzwing said, flailing his arms around
“Blitzwing, I'm not laughing, the people you have annoyed aren't laughing, Aesir won't be laughing when he comes home from work and finds a mountain of Cherry Bakewells on his desk, all melted. You have a serious impulse control Blitzwing, that you have to control, or else”
“Or...or else what?” Blitzwing asked, nervously
“Or else I will have to fire you” Mistrel said
“But...But Everyone loves me!” Blitz said
“Yes, but we can replace you, it isn't worth all this aggravation, you've already caused some of the cast to quit the show”
“How am I to blame for them quitting?” Blitz said, surprised again
“Lets see, you ATE Jesus' crucifix, and so he left, you mocked Harry's parent's deaths, you kept calling Demolisher Wheelie, need I go on?”
“Well...” Blitz began
“I mean I'm getting people threatening to leave everyday, Shockwave keeps trying due to your immaturity, even some of the toys who migrated from Auto Assembly last month are trying to leave already. I can't deal with so many cast members trying to leave, and the commonality between them all, is you.”
Blitzwing looked down at his feet in shame
“Now Blitzwing, I am very serious here, we already planned a comic arc with Prowl and Megatron for the next week, you know that, right?” Blitzwing nodded to Mistrel's question “take that week to learn to behave. If I get another wave of complaints like this again, you will be gone in an instant. AM I CLEAR?” Mistrel added, emphasizing the last 3 words, Blitz nodded “good, then go and work on your behaviour, I hope you can do it” Blitz stood up, and started for the door “Remember Blitz, just because your a Decepticon doesn't mean you have to be bad, we're all friends here after all” Blitz nodded again, and walked out
Part One, next part soonish
:iconquickblast:
quickblast Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2009
lol
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:iconbran-da-man:
Bran-da-man Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2009
Intersting and funny. The funniest is when he says, well the rest is fragmented english but I thibk it says hew blew up my bakewells.
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:iconaesir-cookies:
Aesir-Cookies Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
thanks, i should be working on part two somepoint today :D
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